So a Priest, a Missionary, and Two Women walked into a Bar......

Well, Ok, it wasn't a bar it was a restaurant, and its not really a joke; Its what we did this past Monday night.  Our time in Gainesville has been such a rich time of fellowship, healing and personal growth.  Some places we've stopped on our journey have felt very lonely and yet spiritually rich, others though maybe not so lonely have been times of spiritual darkness and pressing in.  Gainesville has been so spiritually rich, and we have been so blessed to be able to begin to cultivate so many friendships with so many amazing people.  Of course to try to name them all would inevitably leave someone out so I won't do that, but this past monday evening we were able to get a baby-sitter (the first time in a month) for free and had a great time eating steaks and onion rings with one of the priests and his wife here at St. Andrews.  Much like ROL, St. Andrews has a very deep pool of fantasticaly gifted and brilliant people, and we have been learning so much from them.  The ladies in the church have been so warm and inviting with Shayne as well.  

It has been a rich time spiritually as well, not just for Shayne and I, but for our children also.  They structure Sunday School here in such a way that the program ends in time for the kids to join the adults for communion, worship, and prayer.  It has been deeply fulfilling as a parent to watch my kids grow in their desire to take communion, to see them get in the prayer line all by themselves to receive from the Lord, and to worship with them.  Watching my kids kneeling at the altar, receiving communion is so exciting.  Seeing them in their childlike way, pursuing Christ, and loving Him has been one of the most important parts of this trip both here and at IHOP in Kansas City.  This past sunday Ezekiel tried communion for the first time and it didn't go as well as we had hoped.  When the priest dipped the bread in the wine and placed it in ZZ's mouth he instantly looked to Shayne with the most horrifying look of disgust and proceeded to do his best to spit it out of his mouth.

Shayne was able to catch the ejected elements and dispose of them discreetly, thankfully, and the rest of the service continued without a problem.

Our stay here in Gainesville has ended up being a lot longer than we had originally anticipated.  We had originally only planned to stay here 4-5 weeks and then to continue on but the Lord changed those plans and we have now been here for about 2 months.  The depth of the healing and personal growth we are experiencing here has been beyond what we could of ever hoped.  We feel like the Lords desire for us now is to stay here til the middle of March and to really allow Him the time and space to impart to us everything He has for us here.  This weekend we are travelling about 3 hours south of Gainesville so that Shayne can attend a 4 day workshop on healing and healing prayer.  We are so thankful and grateful for the timely donation we received this past week which paid for Shayne's tuition for the workshop and enabled us to bless some of the leadership here at St. Andrews.  The Lord continues to faithfully provide for all of our needs, big and small, and has even provided extra money at times so that we could give to others in need and to bless those he puts in our path to serve.  The boys have needed new shoes this past few weeks and we were able to buy them all new flip flops, Judah actually got 2 new pairs because he lost his new pair just days after bringing them home.  

Our faith is growing in leaps and bounds.  I'm almost convinced that He might really be able to send a large family like ours to the mission field. The more healed up we get and the more we settle into our identity as our Fathers children, the more I feel the Lord will able to do with us.  We are beginning to make plans for our return to Canada in the next couple months and likewise are beginning to seek the Fathers will for the next steps in our training and preparation.  We humbly ask that you would be praying for us for wisdom in this time, and for continued provision, healing, and personal growth.

Thanks for Journeying with us,

The Schafer Family

A New Understanding of Ancient Things

There aren't words to express the depth of thankfulness I feel towards my heavenly Father for His grace in calling us to undergo this journey.  Our time on the road has been life changing and has been deeply healing and liberating for our family.  Thank You to all of our friends and family who have helped make this possible for us and for supporting us in our call to Journey with Jesus.

This morning as Shayne and I were in the church kitchen at St. Andrews preparing food for the luncheon after the service, I was preparing my heart for worship and ramping up my expectation.  While we were in the kitchen my friend Nahum Beard, a priest here at St. Andrews, was preparing for pre-service prayer with some of the deacons and deacons-to-be in the sanctuary.  What I didn't expect was that they would invite me to join them.  As I approached where they were kneeling to pray I was handed a "book of common prayer".  Wow, I thought, this is going to be good, and it was.  As Nahum led us through the written prayers and we read the responses I could feel the weight of The Spirit falling on us and I wondered if anyone else could feel it also.  As we continued to pray and others began to weep at the Lords presence I realized there was something deep happening.  When we first came here I had no experience of written prayers, no experience of formal liturgy or Anglican worship.  I thought it all quite dead and a bit contrived although if pushed I probably wouldn't of said so.  My experience here has proven to me that there is nothing dead about it.  Whether our prayers are poured out to the Lord "off the cuff" with our eyes closed as they are in most evangelical churches, or whether they are offered up to Him with our eyes open reading them off the page of a prayer book, it is the state of our hearts and the motive behind the prayers that decides whether they will be heard before the throne of God. 

The Lord has been revealing himself to us in ways we never imagined he would and revealing some deep things about apostolic tradition, church tradition and our on-going participation in the passing along of the truths of our faith to the next generation that we never expected.  As I learn about the liturgy of the church, the ceremony, the tradition, and the symbolism behind a lot of what we do as Christians, it takes me into deeper and deeper realms of appreciation for what we do when we gather on the Lords day.  I am gaining a new and profound understanding and respect for our Fathers in the faith and their liturgical ways.  We experienced a baby baptism here a few weeks back, a Schafer family first, as well as chanted prayers, a very fun Schafer family first.  One of the highlights of Christmas was of course the Midnight Mass on the 24th, but the highlight of the mass for me was the burning of incense.  I'm not exactly sure what the meaning of the incense is but I know in the OT they burnt incense to the Lord, but I will testify that to stand and worship the lord with the strong smell of the incense and the smoke thick in the sanctuary all around us was an experience I will never forget.  I wonder if in our search for relevance we have lost some of the powerful expressions of our worship and devotion to God.  I wonder if we look back in history at the Apostolic tradition and to the tradition of the believers in the first few centuries of our faith, if there are practises we could learn from and redeem.  I believe that the Liturgical expression of Faith has a lot they could learn from Evangelicalism and that Evangelicalism has a lot we could learn from the more liturgical expressions of worship.

Rather than turning from the past and pushing forward, I'm having a lot of fun looking back and learning from those who have gone before us.  A new understanding and appreciation for ancient ways of worship.

Thanks for Journeying with us,

The Schafers

Crunch Time Cometh ...

"Well folks, it all comes own to this.  The home-stretch..  Will the runners survive the last few gruelling miles to the finish line?  Tune in next week to see whether Faith will keep it's lead and take home the medal or whether Doubt will overtake Faith in an epic comeback to steal the spotlight and the glory..."

It's not always easy being on a Journey of Faith.  It's not always easy putting on a smile and being "Christian" when you feel like your being stretched half-way to the moon and back and could be dashed to bits against the rocks of reality at any moment.  I wonder about the Heroes of our faith, did they ever doubt?  Did they ever lose hope?  Did they ever question themselves or their ability to stand firm in the face of their challenges?  Sometimes, as I ponder the place the Lord has put us in, I wonder.. Is everything going to work out in the end?  I look down the road and wonder..  are we going to fall flat on our faces or are we going to run the race set before us.  It's easy to say we believe God is faithful, and that He did everything that is recorded in the scriptures.  But actually letting Him put us in a place where we need Him to be faithful and we need Him to do miracles for us, that is something different altogether.

Sometimes I feel very weak and brittle, ready to break at any moment.  I often feel like I'm walking the tight rope of Faith, balancing precariously, swaying this way and that, never falling but without sure footing.  I'm not superhuman.  I don't have all the answers.  I am not more holy or superior because I have been on a Journey of Faith.  Sometimes I think I must be the least of all the saints in the kingdom as I'm trying to muster up enough faith to move the mountains in my life.

The truth I must confess is that I have a mental understanding of the faithfulness and power and love of God for us in Christ.  But experientially, where the rubber hits the road, I'm still trying to work out all the kinks and get the information from my head to my heart.  Faith isn't faith unless it's tested.  When God asked Abraham to sacrifice His son Isaac He knew Abe would do it, so why did Abraham have to prove it by actually climbing the mountain, building the altar and strapping Isaac in.  I believe Abraham had to actually physically walk out His faith before God and prove His heart of radical obedience by sacrificing His son.  It wasn't enough for God to peer into Abe's heart and see the potential for faith and to see that if asked he would be obedient.  No, Abe had to live it out and it wasn't always easy.

That's where I'm at.  OK, God..  I'll do it if you want me to but wouldn't that guy over there be a better choice..  Oh, you really want me to do it..  Really.. ok I guess so.. umm, geez I sure hope this works out..

The reality, our reality, is that we are walking out a call that requires a lot of faith and a lot of miracles and all we need to do is scrape up a mustard seed of faith and put our game-faces on and He will take care of the rest.  Easier said than done right.  Well I've got my helmet on, and I'm strapped in and ready to go.  Rain or shine, good or bad, win or lose, live or die..  We will serve the Lord.  We will prove God is faithful and that His word can be trusted.  Even if it is painful and uncomfortable, even if it's scary and seems insane.  Even if people point their fingers at us, laugh at us, doubt us and throw stones.  It's not about me anyway, it's about Him thank-God, cause frankly.. He has much more awesomeness than I do.

Thanks for Journeying with us,
The Schafers