The Schafer Family Journey of Faith : The Next Episode

Well, we did it.  We went there and back again.  And every step of the way God was with us and faithfully provided for us and for all our needs.  When I think back on the trip and all the places we went and all the things we did, I still find myself a little surprised that we made it.  Not so surprised that God actually came through every time we needed Gas or Food or Repairs, but more so that I made it.  Before we left last July I questioned whether I had the faith to do a Journey like this.  I knew I had the head knowledge that our God would look after us and provide for us, but I don’t think my heart got it.  After we left and we got away from everything familiar and safe there wasn’t time not to have faith.  It was faith or bust.  What surprised me the most was how natural it felt to live like that, it just sort of flowed.  There were of course many challenges we faced every day, many of them seemingly insurmountable, but we always made it through.  Our heavenly Father was always there helping us, encouraging us, and carrying us through.

Now that we’re back home in Lethbridge and I reflect on the past 9 months on the road I am beginning to realize that while we were gone God had given us a tremendous amount Grace to face the challenges and hardships of the Journey.  In the midst of it we knew God was with us and we saw His mighty hand all the time, but looking back I realize that without His hand and His grace and His favor on us all along the way we would of failed miserably.  In myself I see the fragility and the sinfulness of my humanity but when He corrects my vision, cleanses me and sets my feet on a solid place I feel like I can fulfill the call He has put on us.  

Coming home has had its challenges.  Our first week back I quickly realized that the Lord’s grace had lifted from us.  I couldn’t understand why it had been infinitely easier to trust God and to have faith for our needs on the road, but coming back home it was totally different.  I struggled to believe that the Lord would help us find a house, to acquire couches, table, chairs, bed frames, food, gas all the things we needed.  I really struggled with my faith that first week, it was harder than any week on the road.  

Now we’ve been back for 2 weeks and the Lord has met our needs for a home, we have just about all the furniture we need, we haven’t lacked food or gas and Shayne and I  have been able to pick up a little bit of part time work which has been able to mostly provide for our financial needs.  

We believe that the reason the Lord took us on this Journey was to learn to trust him for our temporal day to day needs, to learn more about the North American Church, and to learn to function as a family unit away from our comfort zone.  I believe that we have learned the lessons we set out to learn.  Our time at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City as well as St. Andrews in Gainesville were ripe with spiritual growth and experience.  We were blessed to have many opportunities to serve and minister everywhere we went.

Many of you know our story, some don’t, here’s a quick look back.  

Almost 7 years ago Shayne and I felt the Lord calling us to move our family to Lethbridge, which we did.  We knew we were to move here to become a part of ROL.  What we didn't know was that our move was going to be the start of a much larger journey with bigger purpose for us as a family.  Shortly after moving here, the Lord began to stir my heart (Markus) towards missions in Africa, with the specific desire of moving our family there long-term.  BUT he was not stirring Shayne!  So, I simply journaled my new desires concerning Africa and left it in the Lords hands. 

Then, In the late spring of 2009, one of Shayne's friends asked her if we had ever considered moving to Africa, and said that she felt like that might be in our future... Not too long after, Shayne had a dream that we were in Africa ministering to children, and thus we began to pray and seek the Lord as to his will concerning us and missions, both short and long.  At that time I also had a dream, as well as a vision in which I saw the word "Malawi".  I had never heard of a place or thing called malawi and didn't know what it meant.  Shayne thought it might be a country in Africa, so we checked the map and there it was.  

Since that time we have been earnestly praying for discernment as to when and how we should pursue this dream that God has given us, as well as confirmation in the specific things we have felt the Lord calling us to do.  The reason for the Journey of Faith was that we felt it was the next step in the Lord training us and preparing us for Africa, the first few steps being the short term mission trip we made to Kenya in the spring of 2010 as well as my internship in the River of Life school of Discipleship in the Spring of 2011.  

It is still our belief that God is calling us to move our family to Africa, and to pursue long term mission work among the people there, specifically among children, youth, and families, and particularly in Malawi.  We still don’t know exactly how the Lord is going to make all of this happen financially, but we know that He will, in His timing, if He wants us to go.  

So, what’s next?  What big things God has in store for us next only He knows, but we are looking eagerly to this next season of our lives and our personal development with anticipation.  Paul the Apostle wrote “Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel” and Jesus charged the disciples to “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons” saying “Freely you received, freely give”.  Both Shayne and I are keenly aware of our need for deeper Theological Study as well as our need for both personal discipleship and ministry experience and we fully intend to pursue these with the help and direction of Todd, Ryan and the other Pastors and Elders at ROL.  It is our deep hope and desire to be ordained to the ministry the Lord has called us to, after completing our final steps of training and preparations.

We would like to express our deep appreciation and love for our Church family.  Without the love and support of our Church there is no doubt that we would not be who we are today.  It is our hope that through reading this letter you will be able to peer deeper into our hearts and lives, and in doing so be able to better understand the Journey of Faith we just completed and how it all fits into the bigger picture of pursuing Missions work in Africa.  

We LOVE being a part of ROL and happily serve with you to advance Gods Kingdom on the earth, and to see his glory advance in our city, our province, our country and the into the whole world!

With Love,

Markus, Shayne, and Family Schafer 

The Swiss Cheese Phenomenon ...

I apologize for the length of time between our last blog update and this one.  One of the things I've realized of late is my inability to properly manage my time.

Our time in Gainesville has been a time of rich fellowship, deep healing, and intense personal growth.  One of the people the Lord has used in that process is a precious saintly little lady named Jacqueline Walker.  Jacquie is a true gift to the church.  She radiates joy, love, light, peace, compassion, and gentleness.  The power that comes out of this little lady is like the power contained in a stick of dynamite.  When she prays it's like "Bam", the devil is running scared.  In our meeting yesterday she turned to me and asked me a question that exposed a truth that I have been consistently beating myself up about for years.  She asked "Does it seem like time seems to be always slipping away on you?".  This question came out of nowhere and hit me right between the eyes.  Yes.  It seems like there are never enough hours in the day, and even when there are, important things that need to be done are often pushed aside in favour of other less important things that seem to crowd them out.  She then suggested that this may have demonic ties that go back into my past and are given power through the lies I've believed about myself, the vows I've made, and even generational demonic influence.  After a time of prayer it became clear that this was indeed the case and the Lord was able to minister to me powerfully and we were able to sever the ties and break the power of the things that were "helping" me to lose track of my time.

Another interesting experience we had yesterday occurred when we were hanging out with "The Bishop" in his office before soaking prayer.  Shayne had been sharing some of the hurts and wounds she's been working through in her healing and Ron asked her, "If those hurts and wounds represent holes in you, then what do you look like?"  After praying about it for a moment Shayne responded that she felt like God was showing her, in the spirit, that she was full of holes.  Ron said "Ya, like swiss cheese".  Ron then began to pray and the image of Shayne "full of holes" began to change. The holes were still there, however they were now filled with Jesus, and each hole now radiated with beauty.  Our deepest hurts and  woundings don't have to stay as hidden secrets that fester with pain, if we let Jesus he will come and restore each hole so that we may radiate His beauty.  Ron shared a beautiful thought, those of us that have many holes and have suffered much pain can take joy in that each hole can be filled by him, and when you have many holes, that can be a lot of Jesus.  With that also comes all the different fruits and gifts of His Spirit.  Imagine what a healed church could do for a hurting world.  It is so important that we all pursue as much healing as possible, as soon as we are able to do so.

What types of things do you keep within reach when you settle down into your couch to watch your favourite show? : The remote, a drink, some snacks, your phone, maybe the laptop, your fluffy excuse for a dog.  I love that feeling when your in the zone, and everything you could possibly need for the next hour or two is right there within reach.  That's how I've been trying to live my life lately.  Intentionally being mindful that everything I need to live this life to the full is right there within reach at all times.  The Kingdom of Heaven is right at hand, right within reach, and every time I need some affirmation, some peace, some wisdom, some love all I have to do is reach out and take it.  We have not, because we ask not.  I was reflecting a couple days ago with a friend on my need for Gods love and affirmation.  Wondering why I need it so badly and so often and wondering why I never seem to have enough to satisfy.  He helped me see this truth in a way that was so simple I was arrested by the implications on the church if we could really get ahold of this.  Everything we need to fill all our spiritual, and emotional needs is right there within reach at all times.

The last couple days I've been reaching out in faith dozens of times daily.  Asking my heavenly father to reveal his love to me over and over.  It has been amazingly peaceful and refreshing.  If you feel like you need a touch from the Lord, reach and out and touch Him.  He's right there within reach.  You have His ear at all times.  Ask and you shall receive.  Bask in His love, His pleasure for you.

Thanks for journeying with us,
The Schafer's

So a Priest, a Missionary, and Two Women walked into a Bar......

Well, Ok, it wasn't a bar it was a restaurant, and its not really a joke; Its what we did this past Monday night.  Our time in Gainesville has been such a rich time of fellowship, healing and personal growth.  Some places we've stopped on our journey have felt very lonely and yet spiritually rich, others though maybe not so lonely have been times of spiritual darkness and pressing in.  Gainesville has been so spiritually rich, and we have been so blessed to be able to begin to cultivate so many friendships with so many amazing people.  Of course to try to name them all would inevitably leave someone out so I won't do that, but this past monday evening we were able to get a baby-sitter (the first time in a month) for free and had a great time eating steaks and onion rings with one of the priests and his wife here at St. Andrews.  Much like ROL, St. Andrews has a very deep pool of fantasticaly gifted and brilliant people, and we have been learning so much from them.  The ladies in the church have been so warm and inviting with Shayne as well.  

It has been a rich time spiritually as well, not just for Shayne and I, but for our children also.  They structure Sunday School here in such a way that the program ends in time for the kids to join the adults for communion, worship, and prayer.  It has been deeply fulfilling as a parent to watch my kids grow in their desire to take communion, to see them get in the prayer line all by themselves to receive from the Lord, and to worship with them.  Watching my kids kneeling at the altar, receiving communion is so exciting.  Seeing them in their childlike way, pursuing Christ, and loving Him has been one of the most important parts of this trip both here and at IHOP in Kansas City.  This past sunday Ezekiel tried communion for the first time and it didn't go as well as we had hoped.  When the priest dipped the bread in the wine and placed it in ZZ's mouth he instantly looked to Shayne with the most horrifying look of disgust and proceeded to do his best to spit it out of his mouth.

Shayne was able to catch the ejected elements and dispose of them discreetly, thankfully, and the rest of the service continued without a problem.

Our stay here in Gainesville has ended up being a lot longer than we had originally anticipated.  We had originally only planned to stay here 4-5 weeks and then to continue on but the Lord changed those plans and we have now been here for about 2 months.  The depth of the healing and personal growth we are experiencing here has been beyond what we could of ever hoped.  We feel like the Lords desire for us now is to stay here til the middle of March and to really allow Him the time and space to impart to us everything He has for us here.  This weekend we are travelling about 3 hours south of Gainesville so that Shayne can attend a 4 day workshop on healing and healing prayer.  We are so thankful and grateful for the timely donation we received this past week which paid for Shayne's tuition for the workshop and enabled us to bless some of the leadership here at St. Andrews.  The Lord continues to faithfully provide for all of our needs, big and small, and has even provided extra money at times so that we could give to others in need and to bless those he puts in our path to serve.  The boys have needed new shoes this past few weeks and we were able to buy them all new flip flops, Judah actually got 2 new pairs because he lost his new pair just days after bringing them home.  

Our faith is growing in leaps and bounds.  I'm almost convinced that He might really be able to send a large family like ours to the mission field. The more healed up we get and the more we settle into our identity as our Fathers children, the more I feel the Lord will able to do with us.  We are beginning to make plans for our return to Canada in the next couple months and likewise are beginning to seek the Fathers will for the next steps in our training and preparation.  We humbly ask that you would be praying for us for wisdom in this time, and for continued provision, healing, and personal growth.

Thanks for Journeying with us,

The Schafer Family

A New Understanding of Ancient Things

There aren't words to express the depth of thankfulness I feel towards my heavenly Father for His grace in calling us to undergo this journey.  Our time on the road has been life changing and has been deeply healing and liberating for our family.  Thank You to all of our friends and family who have helped make this possible for us and for supporting us in our call to Journey with Jesus.

This morning as Shayne and I were in the church kitchen at St. Andrews preparing food for the luncheon after the service, I was preparing my heart for worship and ramping up my expectation.  While we were in the kitchen my friend Nahum Beard, a priest here at St. Andrews, was preparing for pre-service prayer with some of the deacons and deacons-to-be in the sanctuary.  What I didn't expect was that they would invite me to join them.  As I approached where they were kneeling to pray I was handed a "book of common prayer".  Wow, I thought, this is going to be good, and it was.  As Nahum led us through the written prayers and we read the responses I could feel the weight of The Spirit falling on us and I wondered if anyone else could feel it also.  As we continued to pray and others began to weep at the Lords presence I realized there was something deep happening.  When we first came here I had no experience of written prayers, no experience of formal liturgy or Anglican worship.  I thought it all quite dead and a bit contrived although if pushed I probably wouldn't of said so.  My experience here has proven to me that there is nothing dead about it.  Whether our prayers are poured out to the Lord "off the cuff" with our eyes closed as they are in most evangelical churches, or whether they are offered up to Him with our eyes open reading them off the page of a prayer book, it is the state of our hearts and the motive behind the prayers that decides whether they will be heard before the throne of God. 

The Lord has been revealing himself to us in ways we never imagined he would and revealing some deep things about apostolic tradition, church tradition and our on-going participation in the passing along of the truths of our faith to the next generation that we never expected.  As I learn about the liturgy of the church, the ceremony, the tradition, and the symbolism behind a lot of what we do as Christians, it takes me into deeper and deeper realms of appreciation for what we do when we gather on the Lords day.  I am gaining a new and profound understanding and respect for our Fathers in the faith and their liturgical ways.  We experienced a baby baptism here a few weeks back, a Schafer family first, as well as chanted prayers, a very fun Schafer family first.  One of the highlights of Christmas was of course the Midnight Mass on the 24th, but the highlight of the mass for me was the burning of incense.  I'm not exactly sure what the meaning of the incense is but I know in the OT they burnt incense to the Lord, but I will testify that to stand and worship the lord with the strong smell of the incense and the smoke thick in the sanctuary all around us was an experience I will never forget.  I wonder if in our search for relevance we have lost some of the powerful expressions of our worship and devotion to God.  I wonder if we look back in history at the Apostolic tradition and to the tradition of the believers in the first few centuries of our faith, if there are practises we could learn from and redeem.  I believe that the Liturgical expression of Faith has a lot they could learn from Evangelicalism and that Evangelicalism has a lot we could learn from the more liturgical expressions of worship.

Rather than turning from the past and pushing forward, I'm having a lot of fun looking back and learning from those who have gone before us.  A new understanding and appreciation for ancient ways of worship.

Thanks for Journeying with us,

The Schafers

Crunch Time Cometh ...

"Well folks, it all comes own to this.  The home-stretch..  Will the runners survive the last few gruelling miles to the finish line?  Tune in next week to see whether Faith will keep it's lead and take home the medal or whether Doubt will overtake Faith in an epic comeback to steal the spotlight and the glory..."

It's not always easy being on a Journey of Faith.  It's not always easy putting on a smile and being "Christian" when you feel like your being stretched half-way to the moon and back and could be dashed to bits against the rocks of reality at any moment.  I wonder about the Heroes of our faith, did they ever doubt?  Did they ever lose hope?  Did they ever question themselves or their ability to stand firm in the face of their challenges?  Sometimes, as I ponder the place the Lord has put us in, I wonder.. Is everything going to work out in the end?  I look down the road and wonder..  are we going to fall flat on our faces or are we going to run the race set before us.  It's easy to say we believe God is faithful, and that He did everything that is recorded in the scriptures.  But actually letting Him put us in a place where we need Him to be faithful and we need Him to do miracles for us, that is something different altogether.

Sometimes I feel very weak and brittle, ready to break at any moment.  I often feel like I'm walking the tight rope of Faith, balancing precariously, swaying this way and that, never falling but without sure footing.  I'm not superhuman.  I don't have all the answers.  I am not more holy or superior because I have been on a Journey of Faith.  Sometimes I think I must be the least of all the saints in the kingdom as I'm trying to muster up enough faith to move the mountains in my life.

The truth I must confess is that I have a mental understanding of the faithfulness and power and love of God for us in Christ.  But experientially, where the rubber hits the road, I'm still trying to work out all the kinks and get the information from my head to my heart.  Faith isn't faith unless it's tested.  When God asked Abraham to sacrifice His son Isaac He knew Abe would do it, so why did Abraham have to prove it by actually climbing the mountain, building the altar and strapping Isaac in.  I believe Abraham had to actually physically walk out His faith before God and prove His heart of radical obedience by sacrificing His son.  It wasn't enough for God to peer into Abe's heart and see the potential for faith and to see that if asked he would be obedient.  No, Abe had to live it out and it wasn't always easy.

That's where I'm at.  OK, God..  I'll do it if you want me to but wouldn't that guy over there be a better choice..  Oh, you really want me to do it..  Really.. ok I guess so.. umm, geez I sure hope this works out..

The reality, our reality, is that we are walking out a call that requires a lot of faith and a lot of miracles and all we need to do is scrape up a mustard seed of faith and put our game-faces on and He will take care of the rest.  Easier said than done right.  Well I've got my helmet on, and I'm strapped in and ready to go.  Rain or shine, good or bad, win or lose, live or die..  We will serve the Lord.  We will prove God is faithful and that His word can be trusted.  Even if it is painful and uncomfortable, even if it's scary and seems insane.  Even if people point their fingers at us, laugh at us, doubt us and throw stones.  It's not about me anyway, it's about Him thank-God, cause frankly.. He has much more awesomeness than I do.

Thanks for Journeying with us,
The Schafers